"I had the chance to look at your resume on [...] this morning. We are a growing [COMPANY] and have been around for 16 years. We currently have three openings in our filing room. The job can be a bit slow, so you're allowed to bring an mp3 player or similar device. Pay is $17.45/hour and comes with free parking.
For more information on the positions available and our company check out our corporate posting on [website]. Apply soon as we only have three positions available."
GODDAMNIT THIS COMPANY TAUNTS ME. Really nice sounding job, but either the website they gave is an unfinished site or I'm a jackass and can't figure it out. alfjasdkljf I WANT TO APPLY TO THIS JOB, GOSH. BITCH BETTER EMAIL ME BACK WITH DIFFERENT INSTRUCTIONS.
brb being boring elsewhere